I wrote this song back in the early 80's, some time after the breakup of the very first band I was in. During my songwriting days back then, I was always hesitant to reveal my inspirations for song. But now I have revealed how they came about and what the intentions were. Although, "That's Not The Way We Are" could apply to a lot of relationships and how petty some things are sometimes and how they can get blown out of proportion. How many times have we looked back and thought, "boy, that was pretty silly", to have wasted time and dented a relationship in the process.
This song is not about a love affair between two people. I wrote this as I looked back to the breakup of that first band and tried to write it in a way that it didn't come right out and say how I eventually felt about what happened. We had something special to us going on at that time and nothing can ever take that away. Time just moved on as did our lives. Those memories are forever etched and cherished as a time in my life that I wouldn't trade for anything!

That's Not The Way We Are (1981)
by James Buckley

As I'm waiting for the words, there's time to wonder why
Such a good thing going it's so hard to say goodbye

Once we said we'd hold on tight, it's really no big deal
So we had a petty fight, you know that's not the way we feel

It seems so silly now, to get a broken heart
It's not really broken, 'cause that's not the way...
that's not the way we are

That's not the way we are
You know we can't go on this way
That's not the ways we are
And I'm comin' back to you today

Is it very hard to make up when nothing's really wrong
We agreed to try to hold on, it hasn't been that long
If we could see ourselves, carry on so far
We'd realize just what we said, 'Cause that's not the way...
that's not the way we are

That's not the way we are
You know we can't go on this way
That's not the way we are
And I'm comin' back to you today

That's not the way we planned it when we set out from the start
We said we'd make it work out right, 'cause that's the way, that's the way we are

That's not the way we are, That's not the way we are
Not the way we are