JAMES

Beyond Aprons and Toolbelts (repost from 2006)

james — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 20:55:56 +0000

We decided that, when we had children, having the Mom at home seemed to be the best chance for them and traditionally a legitimate proven track record in all species of life on this earth. So Mom gave up her fulltime job and took less pay at a part-time level, mostly to keep her sanity. Now that the two boys are 7 an 8 years old we feel pretty good about the decision to have a real “stay at home” Mom.

As events led to me escaping the corporate world and launching my own business, changes were on the horizon. Circumstances have now forced us to decide to send Mom to work to get hospitalization and retirement “bennies”. Not to mention, the drop in our income level, while my business sets its roots and begins its growth towards a comfortable level of prosperity. My schedule is now flexible, hers not. So now I must manage the boys, much like she did when I was a corporate sheep.

Well, I thought, this is temporary, when they get to school I can throw more time on the business. It has been growing but I have to strategically plan my days to get the most out of both worlds, Business and Family. I thought that, Hey, this won’t be bad. The boys get to spend some time with Dad more often. Time to let go of the apron and grab the toolbelt.

But ya know, to tell you the truth, its been more about building character and manhood than doghouses and treehouses. This is my time to take what I’ve learned and what the Lord has given to me to bestow upon these boys so that they may have substantial information about what you need to live a good life, learning right from wrong and treating people as you wish to be treated. About being aware of the evil that exists and that girls aren’t really that yucky and its okay to hold the door open for them. This is the moment in “our” lives when an opportunity exists to do something right in my life.

TEACH MY BOYS TO BECOME REAL MEN!

Oh, I know that once they get out in the world they will be tested many times and will fall and scrape their emotional knees. They will get their hearts broken and break the hearts of others. They will fight and win some battles to go along with the ones they lose. And I know that if they face their fears and conquer them, then I have done my job. And it they become kind, sincere and thoughtful then I will know that they have become real men. And I will be able to face the Lord one day and tell Him “Thank You, for you have truly blessed me in many ways, you showed me the way so that I may show others”.

just thought I share a thought with you

The Old Fallen Tree

james — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:35:16 +0000

Just recently I took my family and we went on a camping trip. When we arrived at the campgrounds, the skies opened up and we were greeted with an enormous downpour of the H2O variety. The site we were to pitch the tent on soon became swampland and we were forced to choose another site. The second site was on the outskirts of the campgrounds and we were able to set up underneath a number of trees, givings us shade and some shelter from the rain. While setting up camp, I suddenly heard a growling, crunching sound that caused me to turn towards the woods behind us. The sound was that of a fallen tree. This was only the second time I’ve heard a dead tree fall. The tree was about 50 yards behind us and although it probably took 5 seconds or so for it to fall, it sounded as if it were in slow motion or falling down in sections.
I walked out into the woods the following day to take a look at this tree. It was about 3 feet in diameter, no leaves, nearly hollow and probably had stood about 50 to 75 feet high.
So I began to think about how interesting this event was to me. Here at one time, many many years ago, a small tree had taken root and began to grow, surrounded by other bigger trees it continued to grow, receive nutrients from the soil and almost dreaming of becoming big like some of the other trees around it. It learned to use the sun, soil and rain to gain strength. It looked up to the older trees and gained its botanical wisdom from them, only to one day stand tall and strong as they once did as the tree witnessed the older ones falling one by one to once again enrich the soil as nature demanded.
Meanwhile, other smaller trees began sprouting up and looked up to this tree as an example of what they would like to be someday. The strong mighty tree helped provide shelter, shade and an example of what the young trees should strive to be. They looked up to him as children look up to their fathers. The young trees began to get stronger themselves and spread their branches out and towards the sky as if rejoicing “We did it!”, “We made it!”. The once young tree was becoming old now and just watched the young ones grow and prosper as he once did.
He became weaker over the years and the weariness of standing up for so many years was getting more difficult to do. He was becoming older, while the other trees were in their young and vibrant years. The insides of the old tree were becoming softer and he didn’t blossom as many leaves as he used to. He became weaker and more tired. And then it happened!
With a final few seconds of a crashing moan the old tree fell. It fell into the earth from which it grew and the other trees paused and then stood up strong almost as if they were saying farewell to the tree that inspired them, the tree that taught them, the tree that cared for them and unselfishly gave all of itself so that the young trees would grow up strong and able to stand on their own. His job was done. God had asked him to come and join him, for his work was complete and now he was forever to be a part of God’s Kingdom.
The old fallen tree is a symbol of our lives and the passion and simplicity for which it stood is an example set for all of us to embrace. For as we pass on our knowledge and unselfishness on to our children’s children, we shall always be reminded of the wisdom, fortitude and compassion of the old fallen tree.

Save Your Sole!

james — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:13:34 +0000

I was thinking about how clothing has changed throughout the years when I began to think what article of clothing had the biggest impact on our physical makeup. While corsets have always helped to give women a better hourglass shape, once they were removed everything would return to its original gravitationally challenged position. There have been many innovations in both men and women’s clothing to help give us a better shape but the inevitable removal of those form-shaping clothes would “bare” the truth. Sorry, but I couldn’t resist.
Ah but the shoe! We wear shoes that force our toes to smash up against each other applying pressure from the sides while our weight from above and the collection of blood into our feet create an enormous amount of pressure into a small contained area.
Just think, if during our evolution, covering our feet was never considered, we would probably have pads of callous on the bottom of our feet like a dog or other animals. We would have to let hair grow on our feet to keep them warm and cover up our padded soles. Now I like not wearing shoes or socks and I know that the bottom of my feet are very tough. But I can walk outside on a cold day and stroll on the gravel driveway without walking like it’s broken glass under my feet. I just love to walk through the grass and feel mother earth connecting with me. I am making contact with the planet in a true sense. Although, when there is snow on the ground, I can only last a little before I need to get back in the house. I guess I need to start growing fur on my feet. Rogaine for the feet! Hmmm! There could be a market for that. Okay, NOT!
Well, I will continue to go “barefootin” and hope that it never gets to the point where I develop pads on my soles and furry type paws. But one thing is for sure, my feet do not hurt. Except sometimes when I put those confounded shoes on, I don’t feel comfortable. It’s like wearing dentures on your feet. It works but I’d rather do without when I’m not in public.
So, shoe-wearers of the world, get those feet packed in their cases and look good, but once in a while when you’re by yourself, take them off and free those little piggies. Take your shoes off and stay a while!

Family, Friends and Faith

james — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:54:20 +0000

Simple message to all who are readers of this blog. Each moment we live should be cherished. Each person we engage ourselves with is a child of God. Show your love to those that surround you. Our time is so short in this life that we live. The ones we love and the ones that love us are part of our existence and we are part of theirs. Hold on tightly to the good memories and love that we share with each other. Think of each moment you share in love as though it may be the last and you shall live the remainder of your life in joy and giving joy to others that love you for who you are.

Smoke and Mirrors

james — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 00:58:04 +0000

Mirrors. Unusual but taken for granted. A reflective surface that allows you to see yourself in reverse. We shave in them, we brush teeth in them. They are used in so many ways in our life it is quite hard to imagine life without the looking glass. There are 2-way mirrors, rearview mirrors and mouth mirrors used by dentists.
I’ve discovered something about mirrors and aging. Sometimes I feel like 20, 30, 40 and yes 55. Yet if I don’t look in the mirror, I can still feel in my mind that I’m 10 years old and see the world that way! Reversing the aging process can be achieved by allowing those moments to occur by eliminating some of the “reminders” that surround us.
The mirror is one of them. Oh yeah, we feel aches and pains sometimes but once we treat them we can return to our minds “age” and resume restoring our youth once again.
Ahhh but the mirror. Even though you may consciously attempt to avoid looking so that you are not reminded of being chronilogically challenged, those darn mirrors sneak up on you without warning and make you pause for a second as you see your reflection and say, “crap, i’m old”.
The rearview mirror is not too bad for the reflection you see is normally the car behind you. But once in a while you might be going to meet someone, so you take a quick look to make sure that nothing is out of place. The mirror gets you as it disguises itself as a pane of glass walking through the mall. You get to see your whole body with those. Nooooooo!
And truthfully, I don’t care how good cosmetics are or how much hair you have, there is no product in this world that can make you feel as young as you feel in your mind. You can be any age in your mind and act like it sometimes when no one is looking.
Just don’t look in the mirror. I avoid them as much as possible.
Now if only I was a vampire?….I have to look into that!

Another Page Has Been Turned…..

james — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 12:20:07 +0000

(originally written in 2005)
Just thought I’d share this story….
Last night, my son, Jonathan graduated from Pre-School. It was a great event and very well done. There were many parents and families there and I was taking pictures and video as the kids put on a great show.
Ever since he was able to talk, Jonathan would say to me so often, “HOLD ME”, I would pick him up and hold him. I held him with his head over my shoulder. I held him sitting on top of my shoulders as I held on to his ankles and sometimes could feel my neck getting numb. I would pick him up and hold him when my back was killing me. It was always, “Daddy, hold me”, everywhere we went, “Daddy, hold me”, and I would. I held him when he was sick and held him when he had to go to the hospital. I held him in church every Sunday when he would be looking more at the back of the church while I faced forward. At times he would fall asleep when I held him. I held him when he was a muddy mess and when he had just eaten a piece of chocolate and had it on his hands and face, while I was wearing clean clothes. When he was hurt and crying he would run to me and say “Daddy, hold me!” He felt safe when I held him. Things would be all better when I held him. He knew that the best thing for him to feel good was “Daddy, hold me!” No matter how I felt and how big he kept getting, it was so hard to say no. I just couldn’t!
After the ceremony last night, held in a church, everyone was asked to go downstairs for refreshments. As I was packing up the cameras, Jonathan waited for me as everyone else went downstairs. He and I were the last ones to go and I stopped and stooped down and said to him, “Jonathan, let me hold you?”. I picked him up and told him how proud I was of him and how much I loved him. I carried him for about five or six steps, when he said to me, “Daddy”,… I said, “Yes, Jonathan”….he then said to me something that hit me real hard…..he said “Daddy, I want to walk now”….

another page has been turned….

What Could Have Happened!

james — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 12:13:12 +0000

A little story about my sister, Mary Ann.

Dear Friends, I am just as guilty of taking life for granted as anyone. Until I hit my 40’s, I never thought about my own mortality. Just took it for granted. You spend your whole life creating this story of your life. Ups and downs, good and bad times. Memories. Friends. Family. Places. This is our life. This is what we know. We know what we have done and we know no other life than the one we live in. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring but still we plan for it. I found out long ago, that things don’t always go as planned.

When I was 4 years old, my sister 2, and I wandered down near Chartiers Creek in East Carnegie after a huge rain storm. Don’t ask how we got that far away from home. I can’t answer that. But you know kids, turn your head and poof! As we stood above a concrete structure that housed the storm drain and water was rushing out into the creek, which was moving very fast, how would I ever have thought that my most memorable moment with my sister was about to happen. I must have leaned over too far because I soon found myself clinging to the walls of the drain gulley as the water seemed to be tugging at my legs to pull me into the rapid creek. The walls were at about a 45 degree angle and had small pebbles mixed within the concrete. This is what I was able to clutch onto. Above stood my little sister, watching me struggle to survive. We had pulled a little red wagon with us when we came down here and she intuitively grabbed the handle of the wagon and lowered it along the wall so that I might grab hold. I reached and reached desperately to grab hold of it with no success. Sounds like a great rescue story is unfolding huh? Well it is!….. After trying again and again, I was unable to grab hold of the wagon that my sister held down for me. I must have been getting weak and soon the tireless water would be able to pull me in. It was then that I took whatever strength I had left and hand over hand dug my fingers into the pebbled concrete until I miraculously dragged my little 4 year old body up the slanted wall and to safety.

Oh yeh, the great rescue story! Well, some years later I came to realize that had I been able to grab that wagon that Mary Ann was holding for me, I would have most likely pulled her into the raging water too! At 2 years old, chances are that she would have easily been dragged into the creek. Her life and mine were saved. And I am so glad that, one, it was me that fell in and not her and, two, that I was unable to grab hold of that wagon.

Crackin’ Up

james — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:27:37 +0000

So we all are getting older and since we’ve never been this old before we tend to be surprised at some of the things we do.
This morning, I decided to make sausage and eggs for the kids. So I put the sausage on the griddle and as it sizzled away with an aroma that was guaranteed to wake them up, I started preparing the scrambled eggs.
Now I know scrambled eggs are easy to make and I’ve done it a thousand times. I extracted 2 eggs from the egg compartment and set them down on the countertop while I went to get a small bowl to mix them in.
Well the eggs didn’t roll off onto the floor, but I had to keep an eye on them because they sometimes have a mind of their own and I’m not just yoking, sorry I mean joking.
So i took the small bowl in my left hand, the 2 eggs in my right hand, went and hit the foot lever on the garbage can to drop the shells into. I cracked the first egg over the bowl with one hand, I have become good at that over the years. Dumped the egg contents into the bowl and tossed the shells into the garbage can. Then I took the second egg, cracked it on the bowl, dumped the egg contents into the garbage can and the shells into the mixing bowl.
I have just about had it with the loose neuron connections that are becoming more frequent up in the attic known as my brain. I can remember events as if they happened yesterday but I can walk down to the basement and forget why I went down there.
I started making a list of thing that I needed to do because there is so much going on that I want to make sure I manage my time more efficiently. Problem is that I keep misplacing the list. Then I have to start a new list and try to remember what was on the old list.
I have an erasable wall calendar at home filled with things coming up and one at the office as well as one in the briefcase. But I keep forgetting to update all 3 of them so that they match.
I’m having a harder time remembering names of people I know very well. It’s a bit ridiculous sometimes and frustrating.
I will be driving on the highway, with a destination planned and drive right by the exit. Now I can’t see closeup very well and when my cell phone rings I can’t see who is calling sometimes so I just answer it. The person will say Hello James and I quickly have to launch the voice recognition neurons to figure out the name to match the voice.
I have a better time remembering past events than current events. So I figure that there must be some kind of temporary space that current events go to in your head before it goes into permanent memory. This is where I think the problem lies. There is something clogging the transfer of information either into the temporary space or into permanent memory.
Some of you may agree with me about some of this or have experienced similar and some of you may have no idea what I’m talking about. I will continue to make scrambled eggs and realize that this is all part of something I’ve never done before. Getting as old as I am! And like the eggs, I just may be crackin’ up!

The Luckiest Kid in the World

james — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 01:12:06 +0000

True story….
   Growing up within close proximity of Grand Old Lady Forbes Field in Oakland was an awesome experience. I played Little League beyond the Left Center Field wall which came to be known as Mazeroski field. Many times after one of our Saturday afternoon games, I would just be walking home and pass on by outside the outfield walls of Forbes and a loud cheer would go up and the next thing I would see was a ball come flying onto the street. Home run Pirates. Other times the ball would just hit the street with no cheering. Home run other guys! I used to get in the Bleachers for 50 cents. When I didn’t have the 50 cents I would wait at the bleacher exit around the 7th inning because they would open the gate for bleacher bums to leave and I would go in and watch the last few innings.
It was at this time when I met my first baseball player. The bleachers were directly behind the opponents bullpen and you would walk by where they sat at the lower walkway. The bullpen was a couple of park benches and a little roof in case it rained with not much protection from the sun either. Well, I would sit on the walkway against the fence that separated the players in the bullpen and just watch and listen to them. Once, one of them started talking to me and from that point on, whenever the Giants came in, I was sure to be there to talk to catcher Tom Haller. I even had some of his baseball cards. I don’t know how many times I did this but I remember Tom Haller very well and we talked a lot back then. He probably wouldn’t remember that little kid that used to bug him at Forbes Field back in the 60’s.
   Then, my father got a job at Pitt, which owned Forbes Field. I got free tickets to every ball game. I would have to use the press gate with its red neon sign outside to get in with these special tickets. Even better was that I got in before they opened the other gates so I was down in the box seats during batting practice. Every once in a while, a ball would come rolling towards me and I could reach over and pick it up. It got so that I could go to a game and walk away with a half a dozen balls.
One time, there were two L.A. Dodgers catching and the one guy missed the ball and it came rolling to me. The player came over and said “Hey kid, could you give us the ball back so I don’t have to run in the dugout and get another one, I’ll get you a new one when we are done”. So I tossed him the beat up ball and sure enough when they were done he went and got me a brand new one. A big WOW for me.
   I had other mostly good experiences there, a few bad ones and got to see some of baseball’s all time greats play. My favorite was Roberto. I was never one to chase players for autographs. I think I was to mesmerized just to see them in person. But after one game, I went to the exit where the Pirates would come out after a game and waited. I saw them come out one by one. Bob Veale, Don Clendenon, Bob Bailey and finally Roberto. Now Roberto would almost always stop and sign autographs but this day he was in a big hurry. Kids and adults reached out for him to autograph their souvenirs for them but he declined and trotted towards the outside of the park. For some reason I decided to run after him. I was the only one that followed him all the way out. He jumped into a waiting car and it slowly began to pull away. I ran beside the big black car for a little and was about to stop when all of a sudden the car stopped. I really thought that someone was going to jump out and yell at me, so I was a little scared. But to my surprise, the back window rolled down and I was about 2 feet face to face with my hero. He was laughing as he reached out and signed my scorecard. I cannot even describe the feeling that was running through me. Roberto stopped for me! A poor kid from the projects who looked up to baseball players, loved the game and had a number one hero named Roberto!
   Oh, I don’t know whatever happened to that autographed scorecard but I was lousy at keeping memorabilia. But what I do have is a vivid memory of such keepsakes as this. A mind video, so to speak, in my head as if it just happened yesterday.
There are many, many more great memories I had at good old Forbes Field but that one stands out among the best. For at that moment in time, I was the luckiest kid in the world.

The New ManToy

james — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:41:42 +0000

Someone has to say it and I might as well. Sooner or later it will come out. Men have always had a mantoy throughout time. A mantoy is something that men get themselves hooked on and becomes a fixed part of their lives. In the old days, the man would come home and read the newspaper. No one could touch the newspaper before the man would pull up his favorite chair and read it first. It was time spent in solitude, where he could escape and fix his attention on the world’s problems.

Other things like the remote control came along and for a while it was always in the man’s control until women and children more and more were using it. No more remote control for the man. Oh we still feel we are entitled above anyone else to that device but it’s just not the same as it was at first. Many men would always be the driver of the car. Women knew to sit in the passenger seat, for the man was the car driver. Men always seem to have something that gives them control and a place that no one else would enter without caution, like a den, a garage and other places of solitude.
Now we have a new “mantoy” happening today. This phenomena is slowly growing and becoming more visible and evident. This toy is called a “laptop”. I don’t know how many times in the last 6 months or so I’ve heard a someone bring it up. The man will sit in his favorite chair with his laptop and in his underwear, accessing the web via a router and having the tv on and phone nearby. What are we doing? Well, we may be blogging or checking email but most of all we are looking things up. We are becoming more informed about things that we didn’t know or understand. We are looking for information about people we know. We follow politics and sports. Yes this is happening all over the country. Men are escaping into the laptop while being as comfortable as possible. This is an interesting position for the man, because while he is doing this activity he is telling his kids to go out and play and not waste their time playing video games or watching tv! Yet its okay for us to sit in the recliner in our Fruit of the Looms with Sportscenter on and trying to find out which hi-tech Flatscreen tv is the best and why. We look up reviews and compare product details. We find out how to get from one place to another and how long it would take to get there. Oh, it’s our world for now but before you know it, the wife and kids will be doing it and we will have to find the next great thing to become our sanctuary. How did we ever survive with out a laptop?